Bed Death – It’s Not Just for Lesbians Anymore!

Posted on January 12, 2012 by diva

Q: I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy for 7 1/2 years. He’s a great guy, my gets friend and enjoy spending my time with him. We love each other very much. Sex is a problem. The last time we had sex on Valentines Day in 2009! We have had numerous conversations about sex which I initiate. He says he doesn’t need sex like I do. Last year, I had each of us write “10 things I like bout sex and 10 things I don’t” and we had to read them to each other. He agreed to find a counselor for us to talk to but never did! I am at the end of my rope! Are we just friends and we don’t realize it or are we doing something wrong? I don’t know. As I’m reaching 40, I am beginning to think about what my life would be like without him! I don’t know what to do! Please help! – Struggling in San Antonio

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Posted in Long-Term Relationships, Sex, Sex, Sex | Comments Off

Braking in Advance

Posted on February 27, 2011 by diva

Q: I am a lesbian and me and this girl like each other a lot. We want to get together and go out. But we are afraid if we were to go out and then something bad happens and we break up that it would ruin our friendship. Can you please help?

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Posted in Dating & New Relationships | Comments Off

On the Shelf

Posted on October 16, 2005 by diva

Q: I have been w/ my gf for 9 mo. We’re in love & the sex is great…BUT this is her first time with a girl (we’re both 21) and it freaks her out. She wants to go on a break until we graduate college in May because her friends give her shit, should I wait?

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Posted in Dating & New Relationships | 4 Comments

That’s Bull, and I ain’t Lion!

Posted on October 7, 2005 by diva

Q: Hi,I’m a Leo (7/31/71) and have recently met a Taurus (4/25/68) that has left me a bit confused. In person she doesn’t communicate very much and leaves me feeling like she has no interest in me. Yet, on the phone she is better and we seem to have a good connection. I’m trying to be patient and have asked her if everything is okay. She acts as if she’s fine and wonders why I would ask that (I don’t want to anger her by pressing the issue). Any advice will be much appreciated! Thanks.

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Posted in Dating & New Relationships | 1 Comment

KY Runs Dry

Posted on October 7, 2005 by diva

Q: How can I meet women? I tried everything; placing and searching ads in the newspaper and the internet, going to gay bars I’ve even approached women and have gotten rejected. I’m feeling very sad right now and need advice. I live in Louisville KY.

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Posted in Dating & New Relationships | Comments Off

Basic Instinct

Posted on October 3, 2005 by diva

Q:A couple years ago I left an unhappy marrige. During the last couple of months I saw a woman, who I devloped feelings for. I never went past base one because – of that gut feeling – and things did not add up that she was saying. When the eve came to due the deed I was flighty my nerves were bouncing off the walls- Only to find when it came time too have sex basically there was no romance, only on display a dental dam plus long Qtips and some metal sticks by her bed. I thought- I am just a notche and did not stay. Weeks after that we met again and worked out things it looked like everything was going good- expt. she wanted me to leave hubby to be close with her. So I worked up the nerve to try for a new life. When I met with her she told me “Im sorry. I give so much and never get back- I just wanted someone to give everything up for me for once.” I was – numb – I forgive but can not forget- I am not attracted to men.. However I am scared to death of woman – Im am scared to have that heart break again -. During my divorce I came out to my parents and siblings and they are fine. My qustion is where should I start I do not want a one night stand, I want my first time to be romantic, and remberable with someone that wants more than just sex.. Please point me in the right direction- and key signs to watch out for . Thank you

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Posted in Coming Out | 1 Comment

Not Bi-ing It

Posted on October 3, 2005 by diva

Q:I am a 24 year old married woman (I have been married to my husband for a year and a half). I recently realized I have been ignoring my feelings towards women aside for many years and now don’t know what to do about them. I feel as though I can never be complete with a man. I have an emptiness inside that I can no longer handle. I’ve never been with a woman but know that is what I am missing in my life. I have expressed these feelings to my husband and as expected, he didn’t take the news well. I have decided, for his sake, to push these feelings down again and continue to hide from them. I know what I am doing is wrong, I know I am living a lie but how can I leave my husband on a whim? What happens if I leave him, experiment with women and find I was wrong? Could it be that I am a true bisexual who strongly believes in monogamy but will never be satisfied with one partner?

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Posted in Questioning Sexuality | 1 Comment

Letting Go of the Gone

Posted on October 3, 2005 by diva

Q: I was wondering what to do about this girl that I gave a year and a half of my life too. I met her 1 night at a club and she had a gf at the time but we still danced and it was awesome, it was 1 of those movie moments….you know like time stood still kind of thing. we actually started dating a few months after that, to give a small background she was telling me that her and her gf were no longer together, but they were. they really did break up and we did our thing and then i left for basic training (don’t ask, mistake)we were fine during that time but then things changed, she first slept w/ her ex b/c her ex started seeing someone and she wasn’t comfortable with losing control of her ex then she slept with her ex’s best friend who is a guy, she is currently with this guy,but they don’t see each but like every 6 wks. during all this she was still talking to me like nothing was wrong. her ex and i are really good friends now and she called me to inform me about the guy, and apparently she, meaning my ex, was not even going to tell me about the guy she told her (her ex) that when i got home she was just going to act like nothing happened, but her ex thought that was crappy so she told me. to make a long story longer, i get home and we start right back up like nothing happened…..the whole time she is still talking to the guy but doesn’t tell me and then she tells me that we are getting too close and that i’m better off without her b/c i deserve better, she is probably right but we can’t seem to let each other go….

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Posted in Breaking Up is Hard to Do | Comments Off

Mama Said There’d be Gays Like This

Posted on February 25, 2005 by diva

Q: My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, we live together, are totally in love and partners in every sense. We are also ‘out’ to everyone – family, friends and jobs – for two years now and everyone has been accepting and awesome about it (including my girl’s family). My family is fine about it — except for my mom.
She is upset about the fact that I am a lesbian, won’t support or recognize my relationship or my girl, and is pretty ridiculously intolerant, in denial and hurtful about it all. We have had more fights about it than I care to think about. It helps that I live 5 states away from her and my family, but, situations are coming up (my girl and I are visiting my friends in my hometown this summer, my sister is getting married next spring, etc.) where I feel like the issue can’t just be pushed under the rug.
I talk about my girlfriend and my relationship all the time in my mom and my weekly chats so I am not ignoring the fact that my rlshp does exist. (Her comeback is usually an argument or stone cold silence.) I want to continue staying strong and stick up for my relationship and myself but, at the same time, I love my mom and don’t want to hurt her. I feel like I am going to have to make some tough decisions and ultimatums regarding upcoming situations and I don’t want to do that. Do you have any advice on how I can get my mom to come around – to at least respect me and my relationship? I am not looking for overwhelming support or acceptance, just common decency! (She is not the “read a pamphlet on how to accept your gay daughter” type of woman, either). Please help!

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Posted in Family & Parenting | 3 Comments

A Few Good Sperm

Posted on February 21, 2005 by diva

Q: Hi there, My partner and I have been together 8 years–our anniversary is this week– Yeah!!! Celebration time!!! We’re ready to start our family, and decided to go the “known donor” route so the child would be able to have some awareness of who their biological father is…
Here’s the problem: none of the men we’ve approached (and don’t misunderstand, they’ve all been pretty together, gay-positive men) have been able to “handle the idea”. They say things like “How could I handle having a child, but not really being a father”, or “I would feel too responsible to the child”. Geez, where are all the totally irresponsible men I dated before I figured out who I really am? They were only too happy to let ME worry about contraception back then.
Why have the rules changed now? Talk about irony. We spend half our fertile lives before we’re mature enough to know who we are and what we want trying NOT to get pregnant and the other half trying desperately trying to. Sometimes, life sucks!

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Posted in Family & Parenting | Comments Off