Category Archives: Coming Out

Basic Instinct

Q:A couple years ago I left an unhappy marrige. During the last couple of months I saw a woman, who I devloped feelings for. I never went past base one because – of that gut feeling – and things did not add up that she was saying. When the eve came to due the deed I was flighty my nerves were bouncing off the walls- Only to find when it came time too have sex basically there was no romance, only on display a dental dam plus long Qtips and some metal sticks by her bed. I thought- I am just a notche and did not stay. Weeks after that we met again and worked out things it looked like everything was going good- expt. she wanted me to leave hubby to be close with her. So I worked up the nerve to try for a new life. When I met with her she told me “Im sorry. I give so much and never get back- I just wanted someone to give everything up for me for once.” I was – numb – I forgive but can not forget- I am not attracted to men.. However I am scared to death of woman – Im am scared to have that heart break again -. During my divorce I came out to my parents and siblings and they are fine. My qustion is where should I start I do not want a one night stand, I want my first time to be romantic, and remberable with someone that wants more than just sex.. Please point me in the right direction- and key signs to watch out for . Thank you
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Cold Feet or In Heat?

Q: I’m gonna try and make this as short as possible. I’m supposed to be getting married in 3 weeks. Problem is that I find myself more attracted to women than my husband to be or any man for that matter. I have never been in a same sex relationship nor would I know where to begin. If it’s just a curiosity thing, I don’t want to risk losing my fiance (whom I really do love), but what if it’s not?
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Late Bloomers

Q: I am a 29 year old mother of three. I was recently divorced, and have a boyfriend now. But in my heart and desires i want to be with a woman. As stupid as this sounds, i have no idea where to start. I know that i have felt this way for years, its just that I think i am afraid of even trying. But as i said, in my heart, that is what I want to do, can you help?
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Loveless Marriage

Q: I have a major dilemma on my hands, and am not sure what to do about it.
I am currently married, but am a lesbian. It’s not something I’ve thought about for a long time, but I have always known that I am attracted to womyn.
The problem is that while my husband is wonderful, I yearn for the love and companionship of a woman. He thinks I can have both, but I don’t think that would be possible, or fair.
Some have said to stick it out, but I don’t even enjoy sex with him and it doesn’t seem fair to deny him, but at the same time, he is a wonderful guy. This is a big deal, so I’m not to sure if you could even help me, but I don’t know where else to turn.

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Law and (dis)Order

Q: Dear Diva, I’m 22 and just coming out as a lesbian and it is hell .. I live at home with my parents because I’m studying .. I’m studying law and I don’t like it .. I have no idea what I will do with my life .. and people tell me things will get easier but I am pretty miserable. I wanted to say this and put it somewhere. Thanks.
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Coming Out and Losing Out

Q: I’m happily bi, and on coming out to my friends, I thought they’d be happy for me – admittedly with some getting used to. However, there’s this one friend who won’t have ANYTHING to do with me any more. We went through a lot of difficult times together over the years and I really miss her friendship and support. There’s never been anything ‘romantic’ between the two of us; she’s got a steady long-term bloke. She’s also got gay (male) friends so I didn’t expect it to be a problem. However, she now avoids seeing me, won’t answer my messages, and gets her bloke to answer the phone and tell me to leave her alone. I don’t know how to get through. I should probably just leave it but it’s difficult to let go of 5 years of friendship just like that, and for such a stupid reason.
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Coming Out as Bi

Q: I am BI-sexual. I know this, and that is the problem, I am the only person who knows that I am. I really would like to tell my friends but I am really afraid that they are going to freak out. Plus I really don’t know how to tell them. Please help!! I am tired of keeping this a secret but I am not sure how to approach the situation.
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Come Out or Get Out!

Q: My girlfriend of 2 years, wants us to come out. To EVERYONE, family, friends. A select few know about us being together, and me being a lesbian. But the idea of telling my mom that her daughter is homosexual makes my stomach turn to jello-instant-pudding. I love my girlfriend a lot, and I can see being with her forever. And then 1 week, 2 days, and 6 hours ago, she gave me a very hard choice. Come out, or break up. I cried, begged pleaded.. to no avail. She is ready to tell everyone shes in love, and she thinks that because I’m not, I don’t love her or something. 2 years and I’m still not ready? I’ve known I was a lesbian since forever.. just havn’t gotten the courage to tell most people. What do i do??? I love her a lot. But I’m just not ready to come out yet.
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Moving Foward

Q: I am a 27-year old single mom and college student. I have told my mom and my best friend that I believe I am a lesbian, but they both sort of played it down. The problem is, I haven’t ever had a real relationship with a woman. I have not met one unattached lesbian since I decided that’s what I wanted. I don’t know where to go or who to talk to, and I’m becoming depressed and discouraged. How am I ever going to move forward?
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Definitions

Q: What’s the difference between a lesbian, gay and bisexual person?
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