Braking in Advance

Q: I am a lesbian and me and this girl like each other a lot. We want to get together and go out. But we are afraid if we were to go out and then something bad happens and we break up that it would ruin our friendship. Can you please help?

Diva Says:

Ah, the age-old question; Give it a shot or keep whatcha’ got. It feels risky, doesn’t it? But here’s the truth of the matter:

The stuff that makes a healthy romantic relationship is the same stuff that makes a good friendship.

If you fail at one, you’ll undoubtedly fail at the other. And if you succeed at friendship then you have a much higher likelihood of a healthy romance. Granted, it takes a while to determine if you’ve succeeded at friendship (years!) and most folks don’t want to stick around that long without some action, so approximately 99.99998% of us chumps find ourselves figuring out if we’re successful friends/lovers in the slow reveal along the way.

My point is, whether you’re dating or not dating, you ALWAYS have to work on your friendship. And not dating is no guarantee that your friendship will stay as good as it is now, especially now that you’ve acknowledged romantic feelings. Agreeing to date is agreeing to check things out at a deeper level. Keep talking. Keep telling the truth. Keep wanting what’s best for one another, even if it means it’s not you. Compassion is the key to sustained relationships of all types. If you do all those things, you stand a good chance of staying in one another’s lives – in whatever way works best for you both.

Good Luck!

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