Q: I’ve met this guy, and we both have a lot in common, and neither of us have had a relationship with anyone, (we’re only teenagers) and I want to know what I should do if I want him, and how to go about it, where to meet, how to find out if he wants me too? Please help!!!
Diva Says: Hiya! Wow.. tough call. I remember high school, and the intensity of the “crushes” I had on other girls my age.. My best friend in particular. It’s a tough stage of life with hormones on the rampage and everyone just coming to terms with their sexuality. It’s also tough because teenagers tend to be cruel to the extreme about things that are considered “uncool” or even simply “different”… You didn’t mention to me if you are “out” at your school, but I get the feeling that you are not. You also didn’t mention if this guy knows your sexual orientation.. and I also have a feeling that he does not.
This can be a dangerous situation… and your chances are 50/50 of either happiness, or pain. I suppose that the best I can tell you is to feel out the situation for just a bit longer… get closer to him, become better friends,.. build a stronger foundation of the friendship before you disclose any feelings of a sexual nature.
This will do two things..
1) It will build that trust and love that comes with friendship, so if your feelings are not returned, you won’t have to worry about him running off to tell everyone about your little “secret” before you are ready to tell everyone… and will also help you to keep the friendship through the discomfort if he isn’t interested.
2) If he IS interested, it will allow you to have a stronger, deeper relationship with him.. with your friendship as the basis, and the lovers aspect as an addition rather than the main focus. There will come a time when you will know if it is the right moment to disclose your feelings. Trust your instincts rather than your hormones… it can be hard to distinguish between the two sometimes, but it’s important to know the difference.
I wish you well.. and good luck!