Mirror, Mirror

Q:  I know I’m good looking… but when I see a hot babe I think that she must be feeling superior to me; and if she is nice to me and flirts I think she is doing it to be nice. No matter how many people tell me I’m hot I still think other hot babes are more secure. Don’t hot babes have insecurities like me?

Diva Says:  Darlin’, EVERYONE has insecurities. However, in situations like these, I like to encourage folks to take a look at themselves and how they view the world. Most often when I hear this question, the askee tends to look at the world in terms of greater-than and lesser-than, with very little room for the equals sign. In the equations of human relationships, this mindset tends to be very exclusionary, and not just exclusionary of others, but also leads the person to exclude themselves unnecessarily as well.
First of all, not to be rude, sweets — but the basis of your question is fairly shallow and aesthetically driven. Let’s take your first sentence for example; ” When I see a hot babe I think she must be feeling superior to me.” So, basically, you take a look at someone, and if they are more pleasing to the eye than their counterparts, you bestow upon them a higher status. And what you’re saying in the rest of your question is “People tell me I’m a higher status, too, but I don’t quite believe it, and I think that these people who are better than me must just be throwing me a bone if they treat me as an equal.” and then you ask “Don’t people who are better than me ever feel like other people are better than them, too?”
See, there’s no room in there for equality, and yet nothing that you’re basing these status elevations (or deflations) on is based on anything meatier than flesh and bone structure. None of your questions are taking into account personality, ethics, morals, achievements, capacity for positive human relationships, etc…
So, in answer to your question – of COURSE “hot babes” have insecurities. But my real advice to you is to take a look at your method of judgement and to see what you can do about the way you judge both yourself and others, and try to focus more on the internal than the external. Looks fade, and what you have left is what matters… so that should be what you base your opinions on in the first place.
Good luck
Diva

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