Q: I’m a young lesbian (19) and well, there is this girl that I have met, and we’ve been out quite a few times, with her other friends….and I really, really like her. I’ve told her how I feel, and also that I’ve never been in a relationship before…but that I’d like to be in one with her, but she never says much about that. Should I keep on pressing the issue to see how she feels about me, and what she wants, or should I give her her time and space, and just be her friend?
Diva Says: Patience, little one… Perhaps she’s never been in a relationship either! She may be biding her time… feeling things out… trying to figure out if she likes you well enough to actually dive into a full-fledged relationship.
Good things are worth the wait, and any love relationship needs to have its foundation in friendship first and foremost. If you find that spending time together increases your closeness and bonds you together as friends, the next step into a relationship will be all that much smoother.
Now, that isn’t to say that you should hide any romantic feelings you are having, or sit by and say nothing, pining away behind the faux exterior of “just a friend”. Be honest about what you’re feeling. BUT — if she does not choose to give you any feedback on the subject, you need to respect that and allow her room to breathe. The fastest way to scare off a potential mate is to push her to speak feelings or make commitments (physical or emotional) that she’s not ready for.
If there comes a time when you are too pained with the waiting period, then be off with yourself to find someone who is willing to give you what you need. If you feel she’s worth the wait, be patient and be her friend until she’s ready. All of life is a choice, darling. Make yours a good one.
Good luck, Dear.