Q: Okay, here’s the deal. I’ve been obsessed with one of my teachers for a very long time, but that doesn’t mean that I’m in love. I thought I was straight, but now I’m so confused and don’t know whether or not I’m a lesbian. I wouldn’t like to deprive myself of all those gorgeous guys out there, but that woman is driving me nuts. Please help me girls. HOw do I find out whether I’m a dyke?
Diva Says: Relax, darling… there’s no need to pull out the label-maker just yet. I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t had a crush on a same-sex teacher at some point. (Ooooh.. Ms. Barnette… my first grade choir teacher. What a woman.) You’re very correct when you say that it doesn’t mean that you’re in love, nor does it mean that you’re a lesbian.
You didn’t mention your age, but I’m going to guess high school since you referred to her as a teacher rather than a professor. High school years are very experimental years for everyone. Your libido is just starting to truly develop and pretty much anything that moves is fair game.
Teachers have this authoritative aire to them that can be absolutely delicious. (ooooh… Ms. Adams… my 5th grade choir teacher… what a woman!) They’re also automatically inclined to receive some sort of respect from you, and they have that feeling of unattainability that can be very alluring. Couple that with the fact that anything on two legs is suddenly shrouded in a 4th dimension of budding sexuality… and voila! Crush-City.
You may very well have bi-tendencies, but your first crush on a female teacher isn’t enough to base that judgment upon. If it keeps happening, or if the crush flares up into something a bit less ‘innocent’ in your mind… (oooh… Ms. Johnson… my 7th grade choir teacher… What a woman. — is there a trend here?) then you may have some deeper questions to consider. Until then, I suggest you enjoy the waking of your senses, and do your best to handle them sensibly, regardless of the gender they’re pointed at.
Good luck, Dear!