1 is the Loneliest Number

Q: I am totally out and identify Lesbian. I feel secure with who I am and what I want. I’m an activist in my community, and I have lots of friends. My dilemma is or rather problem is I haven’t dated many women….um…correction I haven’t slept with women. And to be clear I have not slept with men and do not wish to sleep with men. Ok what’s my point right. I fear that because I am out in my community (you know how they all talk), that when I finally find the right woman she might be confused and/or upset that I am not experienced. No I haven’t been telling people otherwise (that I’m experienced that is). I’m no spring chicken….I’ve been out for five years. It may seem silly but I haven’t tried to date a woman for sometime because I fear that I will totally disappoint her intimately. I guess I’m seeking some advice from you anonymously. I feel that if I had been out there in the first place I would not be so lonely now. I’ve been honestly looking for that special woman who is comfortable with who she is and yet also inexperienced but the problem is she tends to be extremely younger or older or worst a psycho. Thank you for your time.

Diva Says: Sweet, sweet “Anonymous”… Never you fret. When the right woman comes along, your inexperience won’t be a hinderance to her. That is, not unless you force it to be.
You need to stop narrowing your options so much. Don’t demand that your partner have as little experience as you do. Hell, you may reap “multiple” benefits from someone who’s had a bit more time in the sack than you have… but that’s beside the point.
Don’t be ashamed of taking it slowly. We all have to start somewhere! And don’t worry about disappointing her. She’ll show you the way, and you will do the same for her. Any new relationship has a learning curve, in and out of bed. Yours will be no exception.
Good luck, dear!

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3 Responses to 1 is the Loneliest Number

  1. Spethial says:

    It’s refreshing to see that there’s a lesbian out there who isn’t all about getting around and doing whatever with whoever. Personally I would find it more appealing to meet someone with NO experience rather than someone with HEAPS. And you’re not the only one out there, trust me. I personally hadn’t even had my first kiss until I was 18, and didn’t start having sex until I was 20. I don’t know how old you are but however old you are i’m sure there are people that would be compatible with you… hang in there champ!

  2. fire says:

    Try not to stress too much. I have been out for years and have slept with many women…and when I met my current girlfriend, she’d only been with one woman and she didn’t know much about sex. I actually found that hot (lots of lesbians do!!) b/c I got to teach her things. It’s been 4 months and she’s making all the moves now and she isn’t insecure about sex anymore.
    Hope that helps!!

  3. cj says:

    I posted this originally. I can’t believe it’s still on here. Wow. Well I’ve been with four women since my first post. It has been amazing each time I’ve been with a woman…it’s better than I had imagined and I’m glad I wasnt out there sleeping with every woman but really careful to be with only the right women. Thanks for keeping the post up…it nice to see how much I’ve changed.