Truth & Consequence

Q: Ok, I met this girl at school and she fell in love with me. Well, I told her that I loved her too but now I am dating this guy that I also go to school with and she is terribly jealous. I do not want to be with her any more because she does not want me to have relationships with males. Yes I am bi but I just want to be devoted to this man and see how everything goes. So, how can I let her down easy?


Diva Says: Letting her down “easy” may not be an option. If you told her you loved her, she more than likely took it to heart, and while it may have been true — you two might have different definitions of that word.
Given her definition is obviously more monogamous – you’re probably hurting her a great deal by dating other people.
If you told her you loved her because it was true, but you simply love her differently than the way she’d like – the only thing you can do is explain that compassionately and with utter honesty. She may respond poorly, but you’ll have your ethics intact.
If you told her you loved her because you felt like you should and you didn’t want to hurt her feelings – learn this lesson now. Lying only postpones the inevitable, and things that are postponed are definitely more intense. Bad analogy alert: You have to pee a LOT more and a LOT longer when you hold it for a 3 hour car ride, don’t you? Same with lies. By the time you inevitably have to tell the truth, it’s a whole helluva lot more complicated.
In either case; Suck it up and tell her the truth. Be kind, be compassionate, be honest and be ready for a bit of short-term drama that will pave the way for the long-term good.
Good luck!
Diva

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