Q: My girlfriend has issues with holding hands, kissing, etc, in public. This bugs me! Part of being out and proud, in my opinion is being a normal couple. I think its just that she doesn’t want to deal with the people looking askance at her, but ya can’t live your life worried about what other people think! I love all that romantic stuff like holding hands and spontaneous hugging and whatnot! I am not going to push her into stuff she isn’t comfy with, but I don’t want to have to be stealth about our relationship! I am bothered because it is just so contrary to Pride, which I value and work hard for. Any suggestions??
Diva Says: Only this – Respect her wishes.
Some people have issues with PDA, and they may have absolutely nothing to do with her sexuality. Pride is not directly related to how physically demonstrative you are in public. She may simply be trying to remain respectful of those around her, and she may be more comfortable keeping the sexual aspects of your relationship sacred, and in the bedroom. Something between you and she, and not for the whole world to look on.
Conversely, your wishes to be demonstrative with her are not too much to ask in general. They might, however, be too much to ask for her. I would try to put things in perspective. The root of trouble in a relationship isn’t what happens when everyone is watching… it’s what happens when you are alone.
If you are happy with your communications and your relationship with her when it’s just you and she, then you have more to be happy about than most. Count your blessings and let the little things go.
If there are more troubles alone and if this is just a symptom of something greater, than I would work on those deeper issues and leave this one alone for now.
I know it’s hard not to take it personally that she’s not willing to show her affection/attraction for you in front of others, but try not to apply your own views of what PDA means to her actions. They may simply mean something completely different to her, and your definitions of PDA may not apply… in which case, you really have nothing to be offended about. Give it some thought.