Q: I have known that I am at LEAST bisexual for a long time. My attraction to women grows all of the time. The problem is….I don’t know where to find another girl that is like me. Another problem is that if I find a girl, how do I approach her? help….
Diva Says: That’s the rough part of being queer in this day and age… it’s so hard to find each other! Especially now with women of all sexualities growing unafraid to chop off their hair, throw off the ruffles and be empowered! These days, it’s hard to tell if a woman is queer or if she’s just happy with herself and doesn’t feel the need to buy into society’s standard beauty paradigm. And this Diva’s a High Femme, and doesn’t even register a blip on the ol’ gaydar — so you just never can tell, can you?
So – finding other girls “like you” is where your first problem lies. The only “sure thing” is to find social groups, support groups and other gatherings that are founded on the basis of sexuality. This is always a good stepping stone. Even if you don’t find Ms. Right, you will probably find a friend or two, and that’s equally as important.
If you find a girl you like, and are unsure of her sexuality – the best bet, again, is to be honest about who *YOU* are, in a friendship setting – Meet her, and if you hit it off as friends, let her know from the get-go that you’re bisexual (or lesbian – whatever you decide, not that you have to decide at all…) and if she’s interested, the rest can come into play once you’re better friends. If she’s not interested, well, you have a new friend and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The only way to encourage people to be honest with you about their sexuality is to be honest with them about yours.