Dear Joan Letter?

Q: Im 18 ive been together with my girl for 2 1/2 yrs. She left to the army. I see her once in awhile, but now I havent seen her for about 5 months. We talk eveyday and all but now I’m feeling like i want to see other people, but yet i dont want to lose her. I dont know whether to just cheat on her or tell her to have an open relationship.

Diva Says: Ahhh, absence makes the libido grow fonder. Well, my stance is always that honesty is the best, and should be the only, policy. It’s totally understandable that at 18 years of age, you want to be out there having fun and physical contact with your partner. Long distance relationships are hard at any age, and they take a dedication and a commitment that are hard to muster for even the most experienced of daters. But LDRs are especially difficult when one is in the first few years of their dating life.
My advice to you would be to talk to your girl, see how she’s feeling about the relationship, and see what kind of a compromise you two can come up with. I won’t lie to you, it’s a touchy subject — and just like long distance relationships require a dedication, committment and emotional maturity, open relationships may require them even more.
My strongest advice to you would be to maintain total honesty in any scenario you may encounter. You are young yet, and you are going to start making dating habits that will carry over from this, your first relationship, into all of the others you may have after. Stay honest, remember the principles of Karma (‘cuz girl, does it *ever* come back around) and communicate. It’s not an easy situation you’re in – there is much potential for hurt feelings – but if you remember to hold her feelings in equally high regard with your own, no matter what the outcome, you’ll have no cause for regrets.
Good luck

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